On the road again...

My driving thoughts...

"If success is its own reward then perseverance is the only option. When the world knocks you down you get back up. Now I'm not telling you to take a hit, a slap in the face, Just pick your battles. The pen has always been mightier than the sword. And a letter, a few chosen words from a man with a bachelors trumps a punk with a fist any day".

After seeing and honing in on life's ins and out, its daily occurrences, I have finally pushed myself back into school to complete my degree. I have a few weeks left in my summer semester and I must say it has totally been worth it. It is never to old to learn new things and expand the mind. Knowledge is empowering, and right now, I feel like an empowered young african american male who is going to continue on my quest, my self fulfilled prophecy. The world is indeed our oyster people, what we consume (mentally, emotionally, physically) and what we put out, determines our pearls (lifes) clarity and grade. Never be deterred, never back down. Find something that is worth dying for, and live for that. Move forward, if only to say, yes I've made it. But never go quietly into the night. Even the most harsh and monstrous of waves eventually recede from the sands, and there is always, always an opportunity to rebuild.

Good day, and god bless...
Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobile

You can always go home again...

I've been on an impromptu hiatus from blogger for a while. No special reason, lol, all the reasons contributed. But I'm here now, and writing I'll be doing. They say home is where the heart is, and if I feel comfy with a pen and pad (or mouse and keyboard) then I guess this is where I need to be.

Writing is a release. Haven't done so in so long, it feels like I'm emotionally and mentally clogged. Gonna get the Blogspot Plumber to drain a few thoughts...

Lata blogger, will be writing soon...
Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobile

The verdict is in

Yesterday my family and I had a big day. A sad, but good day.

6 years ago my cousin, Kacee Unique Lindsay, was gunned down in the streets for doing what would ultimately be considered an unthinkable act back then and now, walking away from a fight. That's right, he squashed it, and when leaving in the spirit of peace he was shot in the back. April 15, 2003 is a day forever emblazoned in our memories.

Yesterday, April 8, 2009, almost six years to the day, the confessed assailant was finally going to get his due. This human being who showed no remorse for his actions. Expressed any sorrow, nor reached out sympathetically, em pathetically, to the mother of his victim. The family of the victim. Or even the courts who will now dictate the terms of his life. No, he offered no penance, and for that, he deserves no leniency.

This so called man, in the final hour even had the audacity to request a postponement of sentencing in order for his gf and himself to be married before he was sent away. How dare he. No, no such request will be granted, and no favors extended. Immediately upon request, he was denied. 1 point for the penal system.

And so, as the judge read his sentence sealing his fate we had a collective cry. A happy cry. A cry of solace. Though the sentence is not what we expected, we choose to rejoice in this bittersweet victory in order to move on and give this so called man, individual, animal and thug not one more ounce of acknowledgment and thought.

Before announcing her verdict, the judge gave both parties the option to speak. The convicted chose to wave his option, but my aunt spoke on behalf of the family, and her son. I'm pasting her words below in hopes that you'll be able to understand even a minuet amount of the pain, sorrow, anger, we have felt the past long years.

"April 8, 2009

Your Honor, Ladies and Gentleman of the court,
We the family would first like to thank God for carrying us and allowing us to remain sane healthy and prosperous during such a tragic and extremely devastating time in our live.

6 years ago our family was hit with tragedy. A tragedy that we still struggle to overcome, one which has left so many lives empty and forever inconsolable. On April 15, 2003 on the streets of Brooklyn, N.Y. where he was born and raised our SON, FATHER, BROTHER, UNCLE, NEPHEW and Friend, Kacee Lindsay was shot and killed. He was gunned down from behind; like an animal, by an animal. A barbaric animal who had no right to take the life of another human being but also he had no right to even be in this country. We struggle and work to make an honest living to provide for our families, just as Kacee did. Day to day our family struggles, asking God to help us understand and allow us to be able to help us and especially me- his mother and Kacee's son, Kacee Jr. understand how such a dreadful person is allowed to exist in society period. How inhuman and cowardly does one have to be to take the life of an individual and show no remorse? The defendant has sat in this courtroom amongst numerous family members of Kacee, court date after court date, not once did we see a glimpse of remorse from him or his family. Perhaps these are the morals and values they were taught to aspire to become a defendant, a murderer, another poor excuse of a human being, unworthy to walk around free. This poor example of a living creature will have to endure that daily routine of physical imprisonment while Kacee's family and friends will have to endure the mental imprisonment. Because you lack the humanity, ability to value life and back bone to make a positive change you will never be able to imagine the damage and darkness you have brought upon this family. Due to your disgusting and inexcusable choice of your action the lives of many have been forever changed, a mother will never get to hold her son again, a son will never get to hold his father, Kacee will never get to see his nieces and nephews graduate elementary school let alone college. Kacee will never get to come to family gatherings, celebrations, holidays, proud moments, good news and good cheer. You will soon get to understand that for every action there are consequences, the consequences and punishment of this confessed killer is set to receive will never amount to the punishment and consequences we are now facing because Kacee crossed paths with such a reprehensible individual. Not only have you left death and destruction in your path because you lack the ability to think about what you do, you have left that ability to the government, the justice system and God. Because you had no self respect or respect for others your family will suffer too but I feel you really don't care, because you have demonstrated you have no capacity to care, no remorse, no compassion, no love, no decency and unfortunately for you- you will get what you give in this life. However, after today you will be a ghost because you have received enough attention for your horrible actions.

Please know that I want you to be confident that me and my family will move from this dark place because you see, as you carelessly took Kacee's physical body you did not take his spirit because it lives on in Kacee Jr. and all of his close friends and family. You did not take our memories, our laughs, our tears, our excitement, our pain, our will to persevere, our faith in each other, our humanity, our compassion and our promise to Kacee Jr. that we will always honor his father's memory day by day each in our own way. We have so much to live for and all that you have taken for granted and will no longer have access to we will enjoy because we value living and we understand that each day is a gift that's why they call it the present…

We will enjoy the intimate moments with our loved ones, consoling children, hugging and receiving hugs, playing in the park, fresh air, family celebrations, attending weddings graduations, freshly prepared meals, experiencing new things and the latest trends, soaking baths, connections, physical contact, unguarded movement, seasons, sunlight, rain, showers, rainbow snow, autumn air, entertainment, new learning experiences, shopping, surprises, the ability to say hello to new friends and goodbye to those we love and care about. We will continue to live and prosper and give thanks to God for all of the love and light that surrounds us."

Thank you for giving me this time to vent. Trying to be there for me family, I've had to internalize a lot of my feelings and grief. As such my pen, pad, and blackberry note pad have been my only outlet.

Good day, and god bless.

Grande Latte

OK, so I realize that it has been awhile since I have made a blog post so here I am. I sent in 2 poems I wrote that were saved in my cell before I started on this. So I guess its a 3 Pete. I guess this will be a regular post. To catch the world up.

I just got out of a meeting. Was at a convention. An expo at the Hilton for the actors, directors and producers of America. Lol, all in all it was pretty nice. I went with a client of mines, and a prospective new client.

Fast forward to now, expo over. I'm now sitting in Starbucks with my friend Lee, enjoying a white mocha latte with a triple espresso shot. Its pretty good.

Zoning out from our convo, I'm on my berry typing away at the keyboard and wild thoughts are racing through my already worked cranium. The stresses of everyday life are taking they're toll on me mentally and physically. I need a vacation. A sauna. A massage. I just need a getaway. Pronto. Asap.

I think I need a new job. Work is work. But wouldn't it be amazing to love what you do. That's a dream come true. Truly. I'm not asking for the dream position right now, just less stress than I have. What's a man to do.

Things are changing all the time. I wouldn't say that its necessarily for the worse, but its not for the better either. All these lateral moves. Parallel moves. Ugh I need to be vertical. Moving on up. Spiritually, mentally, physically and emotionally. I just need to evaluate me.

But barring the b.s., today was a good day. I won't complain.

OK, he's paying attention to me now. Guess I should zone back in.

Blog you later...

MY Life I Grew Me Up

Half man half amazin, But Under the sun he's just a raisin. Brought up in the streets, his actions brazen. Emotions in his heart and soul ragin. Whose gonna help this boy whose now a man. Never had a chance never had a plan. Didn't ever have a hand. Somebody to teach him to stand. Smile worn, spirit torn. Struggles the name of the game. Breakin even, nah not for steven. They say a mind is a terrible thing to waste, but so is a man. People walk by look and say damn. Shake a head, flash a smirk. Help a nigga, nah, that's to much work. The world is to busy to stop and ask why I cry. Why I try. Why im here. Please, tell me, why are you there. I got my back but who got my front. Uncle sam say he got you but that's just a front. Ima cross coulors like criss. Gotta leak take a piss. But move fast don't wanna miss this. Im bout to shake my fists. Im gonna shout back. Fight the man. I don't need help now cause I've grown to be a man. Took a while but I got a plan. Got a job to help me stand. Got a crib to lay my head. Grub in the fridge to keep my stomach fed. Books on the shelves to keep my brain fed. Wild thoughts in the head. Starting to think ima make it. Wait a minute I made it. Give myself an A+ if you wanna grade it. My life story you just played it. The outro. Ima fade it...

one woman man

when we're apart thoughts of her haunt me. i know it sounds crazy but its like she's a part of me. in the streets or under covers my baby's my equal, there is no other. we were made for each other. like a poet and his pen. an egg and a hen. tied to each other for ever. break up, what. apart, quote the raven, never more. wasn't sent from heaven, my angel came from brooklyn. her block look like crooklyn. she was the diamond in the ruff. not really rough just her exterior was tough. didn't wanna let me in but i scaled the wall, wanna know what im about, the writings on the wall. like peanut butter and jelly, mac and cheese, we complement each other. so whenever we get the chance we compliment each other. she's my day im her night together we make the sun rise. not just my world, she comprises my galaxy. you just don't understand, she means that much to me. i love my girl, i need my girl. we're apart right now, damn i miss my girl. she needs my love so ima give it to her. she gave me strength and peace of mind so ima give it to her. its almost our time to shine so we stay on our grind. food for thought, life's short. why just try to bust it baby. the best part of me since she became a part of me. since we been together i hate when she's a part from me. she may not be the air i breath but when we are apart i cant breath. my lungs run on love now, l O ve2 now...

You

If I said I didn't miss you I'd be lying
The time we spend together
Remarkable
The smiles
Unstoppable
We click so well
So alike
And yet
Opposites that attracted
You bring me joy
You can make the sun smile
Mmm
Serendipity
Where have you been